Thursday, May 4, 2017
Back at It Again with the Dank Memes
Hey guys, The Crisp here, back at it again with the dead memes. Just kidding. I have a story today about an orange. This orange sits in my locker and has been sitting there for months. It is crispy and crunchy, just like me. That's all. I'm gonna go be depressed now.
Thursday, March 23, 2017
The Return of Crispy007
Hey guys. Crispy007 here. I apologize for my absence on the Crisp Identity. Life has been boring so I haven't had much to rant about...
...until today. I recently remembered the incident. "The Incident" was a mishap that happened when I was 5 years old. Think back to when you were five. You liked playing dolls, right? You probably also liked tea parties. Tea parties are the bane of my existence. I cannot even bare to think of them. I will tell you why.
When I was 5, I had no friends. Just kidding, I had a lot of friends. But that day, I was alone. No friends, just my parents and stuffed animals. And I mean, (no offense) what little kid always wants to play with their parents? Not me. I love my parents, and sometimes they were fun to play with, but my stuffed animals were always preferred.
This one day, I was having a tea party with my stuffed animals. We had teacups, a pot of tea, everything. Except there was no tea. I had to drink air. I legit couldn't deal. So I put a cactus needle in my teacup. And. I. Drank/Ate. It.
I was rushed to the ER, where the doctors gave me 10-20 Otterpops. It was lit. 10/10 would eat again.
But there. The story is out. Why I hate tea parties.
Crispy007 out.
...until today. I recently remembered the incident. "The Incident" was a mishap that happened when I was 5 years old. Think back to when you were five. You liked playing dolls, right? You probably also liked tea parties. Tea parties are the bane of my existence. I cannot even bare to think of them. I will tell you why.
When I was 5, I had no friends. Just kidding, I had a lot of friends. But that day, I was alone. No friends, just my parents and stuffed animals. And I mean, (no offense) what little kid always wants to play with their parents? Not me. I love my parents, and sometimes they were fun to play with, but my stuffed animals were always preferred.
This one day, I was having a tea party with my stuffed animals. We had teacups, a pot of tea, everything. Except there was no tea. I had to drink air. I legit couldn't deal. So I put a cactus needle in my teacup. And. I. Drank/Ate. It.
I was rushed to the ER, where the doctors gave me 10-20 Otterpops. It was lit. 10/10 would eat again.
But there. The story is out. Why I hate tea parties.
Crispy007 out.
Friday, February 24, 2017
What am I doing with my life
SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty.SaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySaltySalty
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
The MemeBlog666 Rant: Cringiest Blog on Earth
Hey guys. The Crisp here. I've been seeing some really stale meme blogs. I hate this. We hate this. Especially MemeBlog666 is one of these meme blogs. They are realllllly stale. I hate their awful usage of lit and fam. They are telling me to stay fresh even though they are so stale. Even calvinisnear hates their stuff. So please stop.
https://www.memecreator.com/static/images/memes/331536.jpg This is their worst "meme"
https://www.memecreator.com/static/images/memes/331536.jpg This is their worst "meme"
Friday, February 10, 2017
Leave Barry Alone
The Crisp here. As many of you know, The Bee Movie is a big deal here on the internet. Memes on memes on memes. Barry deserves to be free.
I'd just like to say that I'm angry about this so-called "trend". It's even worse than Caillou. And you know how much we hate Caillou.
As much as I love some good old-fashioned memeage, this is taking it too far. Paul Blart is an American hero. He is the best mall cop the world has ever known. I can't believe that people would even think about this. This disgusts me.
I do like jazz. The craziness of this one bee, no, god, has really gotten to me. I don't ask much of you internet, but please, don't bee wild.
Don't take offense to this. I love memes. Just not this one.
Please save Barry.
Share this message with everyone you know.
#freebarry
I'd just like to say that I'm angry about this so-called "trend". It's even worse than Caillou. And you know how much we hate Caillou.
As much as I love some good old-fashioned memeage, this is taking it too far. Paul Blart is an American hero. He is the best mall cop the world has ever known. I can't believe that people would even think about this. This disgusts me.
I do like jazz. The craziness of this one bee, no, god, has really gotten to me. I don't ask much of you internet, but please, don't bee wild.
Don't take offense to this. I love memes. Just not this one.
Please save Barry.
Share this message with everyone you know.
#freebarry
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Bald Little Kid Rant
Hi guys. Crispy007 here. I wanted to share with you a topic that concerns me. This topic is the Canadian children's TV series, Caillou.
First off, if you would like to shame me for my Caillou hatred, feel free. Just know that I am always watching you.
Caillou is what looks like a respectable children's TV series from a picture or poster. But when you actually watch the show, you see a bald child whining about every little thing. When you first analyze the show, you think that the very uncrispy whining is justified. I mean, he has cancer or something, right? WRONG. Caillou is a perfectly healthy kid.
The show's creators have even issued a statement saying that Caillou is only bald because in the books, he was originally a baby. When he aged, the creators wanted him to be recognizable, so they kept him bald. How strange...
The baldness isn't what ticks me off. It's that he acts like a 5 year old baby. He whines about everything. Caillou's 3 year old sister doesn't even whine half as much as he does. And she's three!
My message for Caillou: Grow up child.
Crispy007 signing off. Stay crispy. Remember, I am always watching you.
First off, if you would like to shame me for my Caillou hatred, feel free. Just know that I am always watching you.
Caillou is what looks like a respectable children's TV series from a picture or poster. But when you actually watch the show, you see a bald child whining about every little thing. When you first analyze the show, you think that the very uncrispy whining is justified. I mean, he has cancer or something, right? WRONG. Caillou is a perfectly healthy kid.
The show's creators have even issued a statement saying that Caillou is only bald because in the books, he was originally a baby. When he aged, the creators wanted him to be recognizable, so they kept him bald. How strange...
The baldness isn't what ticks me off. It's that he acts like a 5 year old baby. He whines about everything. Caillou's 3 year old sister doesn't even whine half as much as he does. And she's three!
My message for Caillou: Grow up child.
Crispy007 signing off. Stay crispy. Remember, I am always watching you.
Saturday, February 4, 2017
#prayforlegrish
Oh crap, I didn't post yesterday. Whoops. I've been too obsessed with lilsimsie and been playing The Sims 4. Be safe around coyotes. Legrish might be eaten by one. Pray for Legrish. #prayforlegrish
x The Crisp
x The Crisp
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