The Return of Crispy007

Hey guys. Crispy007 here. I apologize for my absence on the Crisp Identity. Life has been boring so I haven't had much to rant about...

...until today. I recently remembered the incident. "The Incident" was a mishap that happened when I was 5 years old. Think back to when you were five. You liked playing dolls, right? You probably also liked tea parties. Tea parties are the bane of my existence. I cannot even bare to think of them. I will tell you why.

When I was 5, I had no friends. Just kidding, I had a lot of friends. But that day, I was alone. No friends, just my parents and stuffed animals. And I mean, (no offense) what little kid always wants to play with their parents? Not me. I love my parents, and sometimes they were fun to play with, but my stuffed animals were always preferred.

This one day, I was having a tea party with my stuffed animals. We had teacups, a pot of tea, everything. Except there was no tea. I had to drink air. I legit couldn't deal. So I put a cactus needle in my teacup. And. I. Drank/Ate. It.

I was rushed to the ER, where the doctors gave me 10-20 Otterpops. It was lit. 10/10 would eat again.
But there. The story is out. Why I hate tea parties.


Crispy007 out.